Mom Guilt!
Holy Mother! I love being a working Mom! So so so very much! It is my favorite! Being able to do something I love and care for my kiddos equals living my best life but Y'all...mom guilt stinks!
I am traveling this week and it is going to be the best time ever. I cannot wait to get on that plane, kid free with a HOT coffee and a People magazine but getting to the flight feels like all of the Lord of the Rings trilogy in a single morning. I don't think Frodo had near the pressure I do on a morning that I am trying to finish all the things to perfection and get out the door.
My list is a mile long and all I want to do is sit and hold my kids while I read them a book that will, of course, make them brilliantly smart, kind, and perfectly well behaved. Ha.
I actually started giggling thinking about when my hubby travels. His only thing to check on..."Hey Abby, are all my clothes clean?"
Literally, he packs his bag, gives kisses and hugs and is out the door. Hear me very clearly! My hubs is the best! He is a great dad, amazing husband, very helpful and very competent. But dudes just don't get what all we women do!
As I fought tear after tear after tear this morning I actually texted my girlfriends and asked for prayer. My list kept getting put off because I couldn't stop crying. I felt guilt over leaving, guilt over having to get others to pick my kids up from school, guilt for not having the dishes all done and put away, guilt for my youngest having a runny nose and guilt for asking my husband to man the fort while I was gone for three days! Three days Y'all! Three stinking days. It is not like I am leaving for a month or even a full week.
I am just sharing this to encourage any others out there today or next week or next year who read this and need to know they aren't crazy. We all experience it and it is ok. We are normal for wanting to follow God's call to be a great mom as well as a great working woman!
I am leaving my home pretty clean, a fridge stocked with a week full of food so my family is fed, medicine to care for my sick kid and a note on my husband's pillow thanking him for being so supportive of this working life I love!
We can do hard and wonderful things ladies! Let's go love those around us today. Looking forward to what we are going to and not guilty over what we are leaving behind because my kids will be fine. My house will be fine. Hy husband will be fine and my business will be fine when I come back.
So if you need me in the next few days, I will be fighting back tears, drinking my coffee, reading my magazine and enjoying being away for work but also looking forward to coming back home to this life I love.